by Karen Frazier, Managing Editor
Paranormal Underground Magazine

I began today with a song in my heart. Or in my head, I should say. The song is one that I immediately connected to when I first heard it waaaay back in 1993 (back when I was much closer to the age mentioned in the song than I am today).

I’ll sing it for you now – and darn it – be glad that you are reading this and not truly listening to me sing. Let’s just say that if I auditioned for American Idol, I’d be the one Simon asked, “What the HELL was THAT?”

But I digress – here’s the song:

What’s Up (4 Non Blondes)

Twenty – five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
And I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes
When I’m lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What’s in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What’s going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what’s going on?

And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution

And so I cry sometimes
When I’m lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What’s in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What’s going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what’s going on?
Twenty – five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

Okay – so I am now close to 50 than I am to 25 (although not THAT close – I figure I can wring out my early 40s for at least another year before I have to slip into the mid 40s), but the song still resonates for me.

I’ve learned a lot since 1993 but I still spend most of the time wondering what’s going on. Actually – that’s not quite true. I spend less time wondering about it and more time shrugging my shoulders when someone else asks me. The whole angst-y part of me that the song originally connected with has shut its yap. Now I wonder “what’s up” in far more esoteric and cerebral terms.

Part of the reason that much of my 20-something angst is mostly gone is because I realized that I have no destination. In life, there is truly only one destination and the rest is journey. Since I’m in no big hurry to hit that final destination, I might as well lollygag along the way. And as long as I’m lollygagging, what the heck. I might as well poke around and see what I can find.

The answer to “what’s up” used to be hugely important to me. I had to know – and I had to know now. I still want to know – but I’ve discovered something else as I zoom towards 50. It’s not the knowing that I find cool. It’s the discovering. I like to find stuff out.

Maybe that’s why I’m so suited to this whole paranormal gig. I might be disappointed if I actually knew something for sure. Because then I wouldn’t have any reason to poke at things with sticks and turn over rocks. I wouldn’t be so compelled to find the answers if I thought I already had them.

It’s not that I don’t want answers. I do. It’s just that I love the process of discovery. And the paranormal – well heck, it’s rife with discovery. It’s full of unanswered questions, one piled on top of another. Layers and layers of beautiful questions just waiting to be explored by people like me who love to ask the question, “What’s going on?”

Enjoy reading Karen’s blog? Her new book, Avalanche of Spirits: The Ghosts of Wellington> is now available. Click here to buy.