Personally, our procedure is this, once the minister says amen, we get up and make an announcement to the congregation giving them instructions on how to proceed to the graveside. We then dismiss the public one pew at a time until the immediate family remains. We then shut all the doors to give them privacy, then take them up for their final time. Once we dismiss them, we close the doors again. At this time, its usually me and dad and my sister and mother that stays to close the lid, take the cards off of the flowers, and whatever else we need to do to get ready to leave. We then invite the pallbearers back into the chapel to load the casket. We always have the minister stay behind in the chapel while we close to witness what we do. (This is not meant to sound funny, but it gives us a witness so that others can't say, well that funeral director removed mom's pearls before he closed, its unfortunate that some people think that and look for ways to sue, etc)

There has been times when the family requests that we close the casket right before the service where we have to in front of the congregation. So we do as requested, but as a general rule of thumb, this does not happen. Oftentimes in church services if we have a viewing before the service, we will close the lid before the funeral starts, after the family has their last moment (which is in front of the congregation). Some churches per their culture/tradition, require us to close the casket before the service. Still others allow it open for the funeral. So for church services, its usually a mixed bag as far as protocol, but its their culture that dictates what we do. Whenever we close a casket in front of a congregation, we standin front of the casket and mainly block the view of it closing. Thats not hard to do with 2 - 6'2" guys weighing over 250 lbs.

I hope that answers your questions....if not feel free to ask more....

On another board I belong to we are having a discussion about Wakes and Funerals.

It made me remember something that occured at one I went to that I had never seen

done before, so I wonder if anyone else has had this happen.

It was a funeral for a 17 year old boy I knew. The wake had been the night before

and the funeral was being held in the Funeral Home. When we got there that morning

we were surprised to see that the casket was still open. After a little while the Funeral

Director came in (the immediate family was about to arrive) and announced he would

be closing the casket if anyone wanted to step out. I had never seen this done, where

they close the casket in front of everyone there for the funeral. It was honestly awful

to witness, and I'll know next time to "step out" if it ever happens again. Psychologically

watching the lid shut on that boy I adored, it was so hard.

So I'm curious, and when Gene gets back I'd love his take on this,

have any of you witnessed this? I dont mean when a few family

members stay behind, this was in a huge room full of people there

for the funeral.

I'm sorry to hear that you witnessed that, Heidi. I've seen it done a number of ways. For my Uncle John, the casket was open before the funeral ceremony took place and then it was closed right before. There were people in the church and my daughter saw it. I wasn't there at the time, she was with my husband, and she got upset. For my Uncles Ted and Frank, the caskets were closed. For my Aunt Marcella, the casket was open during the visitation and then she was cremated. For my mother in law, the casket was closed during the funeral mass but open during the visitation. There, they gave the immediate family some time to be with her before other people came in. People were ushered out except for the family when the casket was closed. For Bertha, the casket was open during the visitation and then she was cremated. For a co-worker, they closed the casket before the funeral mass but open just prior to it.

As far as the time before the funeral service takes place, I've heard it called visitation, wake, viewing and reviewal, which I find extremely strange. I've also noticed a trend toward having the visitation the same day as the funeral rather than the day before. I think that's a bit kinder on the grieving family not have to go through two days of it.

for me when growing up, anything before the funeral at the funeral home was a viewing. the wake usually took place at the home of the family itself, a sort of muted party as it were, celebrating the life of the deceased. some cried, some laffed, most did a bit of both. there was food and drink.

years ago, when the bodies were kept in the home, the wake/viewing were simultaneous, tho usually the body in the parlor and wake in the rest of the house, with people going in and out as they wanted to pay their respects. ...this may just be the irish interpretation, tho.

and heidi: *hug* i cannot imagine the horror of watching them close the lid like that. i have never heard of that happening in front of everyone. i would find that very traumatizing.

This is the way we do it as well.

years ago, when the bodies were kept in the home, the wake/viewing were simultaneous, tho usually the body in the parlor and wake in the rest of the house, with people going in and out as they wanted to pay their respects. ...this may just be the irish interpretation, tho.

and heidi: *hug* i cannot imagine the horror of watching them close the lid like that. i have never heard of that happening in front of everyone. i would find that very traumatizing.

well, someone posted asking what a wake was, said she'd never been to one,

that they didnt have them in Missouri. i found that statement to be very bizarre.

well, it turns out that they DO have them in Missouri, they just dont call them

wakes.

so i'm curious what you call the day before a funeral when

people go to the funeral home to pay last respects to the

person who died...

or as we say in New England; the Wake.

I'll be interested in what Gene says also.

I've never heard of it being done that way.

When my sister passed, after the funeral we had our private time before the casket was closed, but when it came time to close the casket, they only wanted one family member to witness the closing.

it wasnt just a simple process of just lowering the lid either.

it really was not something i had planned to witness, and

have no desire to do it again.

I've never heard of it being done that way.

When my sister passed, after the funeral we had our private time before the casket was closed, but when it came time to close the casket, they only wanted one family member to witness the closing.

and I believe Perpetual Persuit use to be a Funeral Director too,

maybe he'll chime in.