….Bob's tool box. Once done, Britney Spears inexplicably showed up and………….

shaved the icing off Bob's toolbox, while laying a sloppy wet kiss on Paula Deen. In the background, Tim the Toolman Taylor saw this and

proceeded to………

……………………….do a line of Bolivian Puro Fria. Once Tims probation officer showed up

and recognized Brittany as well the party took a turn for the………………………………

worse, because the probation officer was none other than the ghost of Pablo Escobar, the Colombian drug dealer.

Needless to say, that when Britney saw……….

….him she cried out "DADDY!!!!!!!!!" and immediately tried working him for good connections south of the border which quickly led to…

a phone call to Lindsay Lohan to jet down to Colombia with her new "Daddy". To Britney's surprise the Border Patrol checked her bag, only to find……..

……………………a dead, long forgotten, and out of style Chihauhau named

Chewey. The A.S.P.C.A. was called and to their horror a rare ,and now possibly extinct,

male Chicken Tarantula was found stuffed in Brittanys……………………………….

armpit. They almost missed the Chicken Tarantula because she hadn't shaved for many, many months and it was near impossible to spot the little bugger. So, now Britney can add smuggling to her arrest resume since………..

…the covert transportation of exotic insect species is an international crime. While the border police tried to figure out what to do w/this train wreck they didn't realize the zombie horde had comandeered and entire tanker truck of tapitia hot sauce….

to use as a substitute for mud in the mud wrestling event, starring…………

Paris Hilton and her pet hair extensions vs. Rachael Ray and her ceramic sauce pan…..

filled with EVOO, that's Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Judging the contest was Sarah Palin, Gary Busey and Madonna. When Paris tried to jump in the pit….