open and Lindsay Lohan walked in w/her new court drunky anklelette clinking wondering why this new bar smelled like….

…………….most of her wardrobe the morning after? Ms. Lohans thirst for adult beverages was only second

to her desire to be the……………………………….

biggest one hit wonder since Amy Winehouse. After staggering over to the bars of the cage she thought she was at the whisky a go go and began to ….

………………..tell the blurry and hairy bartender how to make a Paparazzi Diva

Cocktail. Then in one violent and fluid stroke Leo sprang at Lindsay and severed her…………………………

……………….. Feelgoods place. Leo couldn't resist a drug addled starlet. She just

might work as a hostage or a mid-night ………………………….

rum runner for that last shot of the night. Lohan jumped into KITT, David Hasselhoff's car from Knight Rider,

and headed to…………….

….neverland ranch in the hopes of communicating Wacko Jacko's spirit, but upon arrival instead found Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis….

fighting for the next ride on the "Tilt-A-Whirl".

Suddenly, off in the distant they saw………….

John Goodman and Oprah Winfrey cavorting around in a vat of creamed spinach….

……..with Movieman circling them in his new Kayak, while filming in Hi8,

for a spot on TMZ. After Goodman got a lung full of creamed spinach Oprah

called an EMS service that responded to the scene in a………………………

Miami Minute, but unfortunately there was nothing Ryan could do to save Goodman, but Steadman had hurt himself drilling Oprah's safe and needed to be….

……………………..extricated, with caution, from the grip of the 21 ft. Anaconda that was installed as a

security measure after his last failed attempt. It wasn't that Oprah loved and forgave Steadman it was

the sheer comic folly in his pursuit of her wealth that endeared him to her. After Oprah was through

reflecting on all those fond memories she shot him in the………………………….

….leg and he was promptly rushed to the James Brolin Memorial Gold Diggers Hospice to recover from his injuries Nurse Ratchet attended to his wounds w/the kind of care and attention you'd expect from….

…………..a nurse who dabbled more in fringe pharmacology than in comedy. After Steadman was released he was quoted as saying "…………………………..

………………………."But I HAD clothes when I got here!"………………………..

……………..of course no one listened as Steadman was famous for showing up to

functions naked and drunk. A TMZ reporter did however ask him if he had ever

seen the episode of Seinfeld where George experienced a bad case of ……………………

… Found he was taking a bath with a drag-queen, being the quick thinker that he is George …….