mini-pity-party time; or maybe not so mini. no one from my family called; they don't ever mention her name.

but, my best friend in the world always calls, and did at 2am...i had a good cry with her. she has known my kids since they were babies and loves them like they are her own. her daughter treats her like shite, and cheri has done everything for her. poor cheri: she actually envies me for the relationship that cait and i had.

the ptsd is bad right now and my memory is non-existant except for that time in the bathroom when she was leaving us and the next hours in the er...i know it will pass and life will get back to being merely 'bad' rather than 'horrible'.

thank you all for the thoughts. i feel very isolated this time of year.

xxx,

annie

Annie, I have been thinking about you all day. I am so sorry that your precious child has passed on. My sister lost her son in 2009. She will never get over it, this I know for sure. She and I talk about him all the time but this is not the case with others members of the family. Everyone has their own way of coping and some feel that not talking about it the way to go. I think that your grief is appropriate and necessary and you are entitled to your pain. I do not know if time will heal but I have seen many people who I have great respect for go thru similar devastating events and they come out the other side. They are changed because of their loss but they encourage me when I see them working thru their difficulties. They are the ones now reaching out to others who are struggling. There is no time table for grief, just take it one day at a time. Just remember that although you feel isolated at this time, you are not really all alone. Your special relationship with Cait is always with you, in your heart and in the beautiful memories you will always cherish. Remember that there are many of us sending up positive thoughts and prayers for you. Personally, I think that your Cait is now in a place where she is restored and safe and she knows how much you love and miss her. Take care.

but, my best friend in the world always calls, and did at 2am...i had a good cry with her. she has known my kids since they were babies and loves them like they are her own. her daughter treats her like shite, and cheri has done everything for her. poor cheri: she actually envies me for the relationship that cait and i had.

the ptsd is bad right now and my memory is non-existant except for that time in the bathroom when she was leaving us and the next hours in the er...i know it will pass and life will get back to being merely 'bad' rather than 'horrible'.

thank you all for the thoughts. i feel very isolated this time of year.

xxx,

annie