As some of you may be aware, I’ve been pretty heavily involved in one of our Ghost Knight Media projects, The Namaste Project. In that project, I’ve committed myself to 100 Days of Namaste in which I have been trying to find the Light in every person I encounter. Even the jerks.
I’m about 83 days in and it has been quite an experience. It turned out that, for me, The Namaste Project isn’t about other people at all. It’s about me. I could go into everything I’ve learned, but I’ve done that in the blog on the Namaste website. The bottom line is this: when I respond negatively to another, and when I can’t see the Light in another, it is because of something inside of me that is unhealed. Once I heal that part of myself, then I can and do find the Light in others.
That’s the nutshell version of what I’ve learned so far in The Namaste Project, and I tell you that so that I can tell you this. I have discovered quite a few things about myself in the past 83 days. One of the things I’ve discovered is that I cram my head and my life full of all sorts of stuff so that I don’t have to listen to all of the feelings and thoughts that pour into my head all of the time. It is something that I was never aware of.
I am an insanely busy person and always have been. I have an insanely busy brain – I’m always thinking about at least three or four things at once. I’ve always got multiple projects going on at once. Never once in all of the years that I have been this way did it occur to me that I created this level of busyness as a means of blocking out external and internal stimuli.
And yet that seems to be exactly what I’m doing. I’ve long been aware that, when I’m in an environment where I am around large groups of people, I have trouble filtering out other people’s emotions. I had never really labeled it, but I long ago learned that in those situations, many of the emotions I feel wind up not being mine at all. I created a level of noise in my head to block those things out, because it can be quite overwhelming at times.
In my experiences up at the site of the Wellington avalanche disaster, I discovered that clearly I pick up some information on a sensory level. I can feel and sense things there in certain areas of the the site that are consistent with things that other people sense. Again, it isn’t something that I’ve labeled, but it is clearly something worth exploring.
More recently, I’ve become aware that I have constant moving pictures flashing across my brain. Always. I never pay any attention to them because if I did, I’d sit and look at the pretty colors and never get anything accomplished. Instead, I ignore them and probably have all of my life.
And yet my experiences with the Namaste project have taught me something. I need to pay attention to all of these things, because this is information that comes to me. I’m not very good at doing this because my whole life has been about blocking all of it out.
Recently, I’ve been in communication with a gentleman named Mark Christopher Nelson. Mark is a psychic who routinely insists that I, too, am a psychic. It’s not a label I’ve ever applied to myself. Why? Because psychics are other people. Not me.
Still, I’ve toyed with the thought on and off that all of these things that come to me – the pictures, the feelings that aren’t mine, even sensations in my body that make no sense – maybe they are around because I am somehow receiving psychic information.
On Mark’s advice, I’ve been taking some time to quiet my mind (no easy task for me) and to sit and pay attention to whatever is coming to me in the form of these moving pictures, feelings and thoughts. It’s been a difficult thing to do because I have years and years of avoidance on my side that becomes a habit upon which I can fall back. But I’m trying and I am noting what I see, hear and feel.
Still, this is a fledgling enterprise for me. Now that I’m not ignoring the information, I have no idea what to do with it. If I see a name – what do I do with it? If I see a location, what does it mean? It’s all a big jumble still, but at least I’m not ignoring it any longer.
Am I, as Mark suggests, a psychic? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve never bothered to pay attention to find out. Maybe what I am is crazy. Or maybe I have a vivid imagination. Or maybe there’s something there. What I do know is this. In the times that I have trusted my intuition, it has never steered me wrong. As a matter of fact, when I fall on my face is usually when I ignore my intuition – something that has happened far more than it should. And so I’ve decided what can it hurt? I’ll give it a shot. I will pay attention to everything I’ve been ignoring for most of my life. I’ll take the path that is being presented and see where it leads.
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