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Mean People Suck

by Karen Frazier, Managing Editor
Paranormal Underground Magazine

Recent forays into mainstream press to talk about various paranormal projects have garnered some downright nasty commentary. What’s always interesting to me about this type of commentary is that it often comes from people who lead faith-based lives. And it always leads me to wonder – what’s the difference between religious faith and paranormal belief?

I was raised to believe in a supernatural power. I attended a Christian church growing up – all the way until I went to college. At various times through my life, I have returned to the church to see if there is something there for me.

Millions take the reality of God on faith – including scientists. And yet many of these God-fearing men and women who believe in an invisible power with no empirical proof decry research into the paranormal, parapsychology, noetic sciences, reincarnation and other similar topics as absolute hooey. Pseudoscience at best.

Recently, there was an article about me in my hometown newspaper. It talked about my work with the paranormal, the documentary I am producing with a group of dedicated people, my work with Paranormal Underground, a book I co-wrote on past life regression and my upcoming book on the supernatural. The response was underwhelming, and at times, outright mean. I was accused of being a loose woman who had an affair with my current husband while still being married to my first husband (an impossibility since there was nearly 15 years between the first marriage and meeting my current hubby). I was called a nincompoop (although I sort of found that one funny. I enjoy the word nincompoop). It was suggested that I am out just attempting to bilk people by talking about the paranormal so that I could make a good living for myself. There were others that were equally nasty, as well, but those stand out. These were personal attacks, based upon nothing more than an article in the newspaper that talked a teeny tiny bit about what I do as a passion (and have yet to make a dime doing – although I’ve spent several thousand on it).

A similar thing happened when our good friends Bert and Jayme Coates at NWPIA were featured in a Seattle Times article. In a similar fashion to the little piece done about me, the comments were brutal. They were called stupid. They were accused of seeking personal fame, of being quacks and of being ” a complete waste of time” – Bert and Jayme, not the article about them. Again, the comments were brutal and oddly personal.

What is even more surprising is that many such attacks come from people within the paranormal community. One group, who is notorious in our state for attacking any other paranormal group who gets press, were shockingly brutal in their comments about two people who share their passion and are doing everything they can to further the public consciousness about the possibility of the paranormal.

And really, isn’t that all it is? An attempt to share a passion with the public? Several times a year, someone knocks on my door to share the “good news” about Jesus with me. Just yesterday, we received a full-length book in the mail (unordered, unsolicited) that talks about the battle between God and Satan, and how it is active in our lives at this very moment. Many of these same people who would criticize our curiosity about the unseen and unknown are out proselytizing about their belief in the unseen and unknown.

And yet, never once have I criticized them for their belief in a higher power. Never once have I suggested to a scientist who is also a Deist that there is no empirical evidence for what they believe. Never once when an article appears in the paper that talks of someone’s faith in God have I called them a nincompoop or suggested that they a) cheat on husbands or b) are just out for a buck. As far as I know, neither have Bert and Jayme.

That’s because I have no need to push my agenda onto others or to control the beliefs of others. Instead, I am seeking the afterlife. That is my focus. Why? Personal curiosity, mostly. But also, if anyone wants to come and ask me about it, maybe hearing about the afterlife could cause someone to live their life with less fear, more joy and more compassion for their fellow man.

I have no beef with religion. I have no beef with faith – as a matter of fact, I currently consider myself a person of faith. The things that I have experienced have led me to reach a very personal and individual conclusion – that there is some higher power acting in our lives. But that is exactly what it is – a very personal and individual conclusion. For me to go out and demand that others reach the same conclusion I have is insanity. Isn’t it? What business is it of mine the conclusion that others reach about God? What business is it of mine what private passions and interests people pursue in their own lives? If their interests, beliefs and passions are different than mine, should I then malign their personal morality and question their intelligence?

So many of us in the paranormal community are doing the same thing. We are trying to find answers. It isn’t about personal glory – although it is about personal curiosity. We often reach different conclusions than others in the community. To my way of thinking, there’s nothing wrong with that. Each of us approaches evidence and experiences from our own frame of reference and filters it through everything we have ever thought, felt, seen, heard and experienced.

Who am I to say that what another believes to be true isn’t? Who am I to tell people that their conclusions are wrong because they don’t match mine? Who am I to tell you what to believe? And who am I to attack you because you have chosen a different path than I?

Be who you are, because that is who you know how to be. Never let the judgments of others get you down.

Enjoy reading Karen’s blog? Her new book, Avalanche of Spirits: The Ghosts of Wellington> is now available. Click here to buy.

Comments (9)
  1. Mitch / Reply November 11, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    although i am not exactly a ‘public figure’ by any stretch, anytime i try to voice myself in a public forum (twitter, myspace, etc.) i am always judged. it doesn’t have to be anything about paranormal or religious belief, just anything in general… judgement. harsh, nasty, ugly, careless judgement. 90+% is from those who claim to be ‘religious’ in some form of the word, which if i remember correctly, is a big no-no. where is their memory of the whole ‘judge not lest thou be judged’ speech in that book they SO love to smack ppl in the face with??

    anyway, i just quoted your last sentence and credited it to you on twitter because you are the FIRST person i follow, anywhere, who backs it up with substance. …so thanks for that. some of us are on line looking for something a little less negative than our own reality and sadly only find more negativity. i could not possibly be made to feel less important than i have been already by a few folks in the para-community on twitter, so finding a voice that isn’t just waiting to cast me aside like the others was refreshing to say the least. my enitre family, except for 1, has moved on to the afterlife and being so alone totally sucks! those folks who proclaim their ‘good heart’ and ‘strong belief’ and talk constantly about how they surround themselves with ‘kind and generous’ people who ‘fight negativity’ really need to self examin when they can treat others the way they do and still make all those empty claims. i’m sorry, but ridiculous name calling and ignoring ppl like they don’t even exist is neither good hearted nor christian unless i’m reading a SERIOUSLY different dictionary.

    so thanks again for the blog, which i retweeted and quoted, and i hope it reaches the others who have been made to feel as worthless as i.

  2. Atrueoriginall / Reply November 11, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    I am in a similar boat and found that for me it was best that I never say anything ever again about my experiences whatsoever. That’s really too bad too since those who would like to know, never will.

    I am extremely sensitive, which is another reason I keep my experiences and what it is I do online to myself. I take things to heart and have difficulty blowing it off.

    And hey, you already know that you’re better than the one talking about you because they’re the mean one.

    I just tweeted this page too.

    Eileen (aka: Atrueoriginall)

  3. Cheryl Knight / Reply November 11, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Unfortunately, with some (even a little) notoriety comes judgment, mockery, and even lies by those who know nothing about the person or subject they’re criticizing. I believe you just can’t take those things to heart and have to continue doing what you love to do … in this case, investigating and writing about the paranormal.

    The more people put themselves in the public eye, the more they’ll have to deal with some of the unpleasantness you described above. Just knowing that you are making a difference in your work and impacting many people’s lives in a profound way makes it all worth it … to me.

  4. Atrueoriginall / Reply November 12, 2009 at 8:23 am

    Or, we can pretend that the human spirit does not exist and that the ‘vexation’ caused by the mean person is but a figment of our imagination and not damaging to the spirit.

    That is my only concern because I do believe that such does injure a person from the inside out. The title of this article is actually understated and I don’t think that man will recognize such for many years to come.

    It all comes down to the individual and their makeup. Some can take it and some were never designed to do so. Karen’s thought of an article on such experiences most likely stemmed from anger and emotional pain (no matter the degree), so felt necessary to vent over what had happened. That’s the reaction from undue pain that was put upon her with ‘words’. Words can be a killer, which makes venting is a good thing.

    “The more people put themselves in the public eye, the more they’ll have to deal with some of the unpleasantness”

    That is the old Hollywood cliche created to use against the stars and other famous people. I think we’ll all agree though that it should never pertain to anyone. The problem however is educating the fan or be it the enthusiast in ones work.

  5. Joseph Capp / Reply November 12, 2009 at 10:57 am

    Dear Karen,
    The fundamentalist Christian movement is dogmatic and frightened of anything that comes along that challenges their belief system. They claim its all from the bible but who’s bible the Catholic Church’s bible the King James Bible or the Gnostic text…my personal favorite. If you have easy answers for everything you end up not exercising your mind.
    Demons are responsible for spirits and UFOs. Wow that solves everything. Thank the real God for those who challenge this dogmatism in any form. Freedom is great but it comes with grave personal responsibilities.
    I am sorry for what happened to you but I am not surprise. These public smear campaigns are par for the course on these subjects. Actually it’s a right of passage in these field, it means you’ve hit a nerve.
    There is only one good work in any of this and that is the honest search for the truth. On that you should give yourself an A+.

    Joe Capp
    UFO Media Matters
    Non-Commercial Blog

  6. Karen Frazier / Reply November 12, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Thanks for the comments, everyone. This blog wasn’t to vent or because I feel badly about myself. I could care less what others say about me. Nor was it an indictment of religion in any of its forms. Instead, it was an observation – this is what happens out there with people who are searching for the paranormal. We shouldn’t believe the negativists, we shouldn’t feel put down by what others say. As I believe I said, I feel sadness and compassion for those people who have to put down others to make themselves feel better. I stopped worrying what others said about me a long time ago.

  7. Pingback: The Devil Is in the Details

  8. TheJybian / Reply November 13, 2009 at 1:31 am

    I have a theory that perfectly explains judgmental people…

    If you go through life with your head up your a**, everything smells like s***.

  9. Cheryl Knight / Reply November 14, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    When I wrote … “The more people put themselves in the public eye, the more they’ll have to deal with some of the unpleasantness” … my intention was not to just spew out an old Hollywood cliche. Those words came from me and my feeling on the subject.

    Yes, EVERYONE in the public eye comes under scrutiny, whether we want it to happen or not. It’s how we take that scrutiny that really matters.




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