by Karen Frazier, Managing Editor
Paranormal Underground e-Magazine

I thought I’d follow up yesterday’s blog with a few more thoughts about brain chemistry. Especially in light of our upcoming May issue focusing on psychology and the paranormal.

I have to admit – thinking that we are nothing more than a series of chemical reactions bugs me. I want to believe that there is more to us than just chemicals in our brain. I want to believe that we have souls, that consciousness comes from somewhere else, and that we go on and on and on forever. I think having that knowledge might make me a better person.

That being said, the key here is that I want to believe these things. And yet, I look at studies about brain chemistry and I wonder. Sure, it would be really, really complex chemical reactions driving our behavior, so that part is pretty cool when you think about it. But I’d like to think that I have more control over who I am than my chemistry. To me, that seems so predetermined.

The problem is this: I am aware of what I want to believe. I am also aware of the research regarding brain chemistry. And so, I trust even less what I’d like to believe, because I feel as if I have a bias in the direction of belief, even as I look at the research. Life under a rock would be easier. Seriously. Some say ignorance is bliss – and sometimes I wonder.

There is a certain romance to seeing ourselves as souls. Think of all of the romantic notions that surround that thought – soul mates, soul contracts, souls that sit at the very feet of God. It’s a beautiful thought – and a comforting one – that even after I die, some part of my awareness will go on and join in the greater purpose of the universe in communion with all of the other departed souls. It is a beautiful vision and one that I want very much to believe.

And yet, here I sit. Without a true clue about the truth. Am I a soul with a consciousness greater than myself that goes on and on after I die? Am I eternal? Or am I a series of extremely complex biochemical reactions? I know which one I want to believe. There is no romance in chemistry.

Will science unequivocally prove that we are merely a product of our body chemistry in my lifetime? Or will I go to my grave not knowing the answers? For a person as curious as I am, this is a tough one – knowing that I may never know the truth. Or, maybe, as I want so badly to believe, I will die and my consciousness will go on. In my romantic vision of this then, and only then, will I learn the truth of who I really am. I’m hoping its not just chemistry. Really, I am.