by Karen Frazier, Managing Editor
Paranormal Underground e-Magazine

Conversation in our religion and spirituality form has me thinking. Belief (or disbelief) is a highly personal thing. Whether we’re talking belief in the paranormal, belief in God or something else – it is uniquely individual. Some people have spent their lives seeking. Others have never seen a reason to seek – because they’ve always known that they had the answer that worked for them.

Me – I’ve always sought. Occasionally I have believed I found what I was looking for, until ultimately what I found felt more limiting than freeing. And so, I go through life with half-formed beliefs and a lot of maybes. I’ve always envied those who come into belief or disbelief readily. I see those sure of their belief or disbelief in God, their belief or disbelief in ghosts, their belief or disbelief that there is something out there outside of us as free of the internal struggles that I go through. I see them as having found what they were looking for, while I am still looking.

This is not to say that I embrace solipsism. I definitely think that there is more out there than just me – and just my mind. But that doesn’t mean I’ve found it – or even come close. Because in my search, I always crash into my mind. It may not be the only thing out there, but it sure as heck is the loudest.

I’ve always wondered why people want to convince others to share their beliefs. What’s that all about? Why should it matter to you whether I believe in ghosts, or whether I share your God? Is it that no one wants to feel alone in the universe, so if more people share a belief, then the more sure we feel in our own belief system? I’ve always respected others’ right to believe what it is that works for them. I am happy for them that they find comfort in their faith. It is a big universe, and there is room for everyone.

Here’s the thing about belief. We all come into it for a variety of reasons. Our experience, our background, our culture, our families, the things we’ve read, heard seen and felt. With all of those factors that come into play, how can any one person have a belief that even remotely resembles anyone else’s belief?

I haven’t found what I believe in, but I think I will recognize it when I do. Maybe I’ve romanticized it – but I think that when I find a belief system that works for me, it will feel right in every cell of my being. It will feel like coming home, and I will be free.